As the name of this sixth episode suggests, “Abductions,” many of our less-than-thrilled campers find themselves carried away by their holidays.
Everyone is completely out of their minds at this point in the trip, if they were ever in their right minds to begin with, which, with this group, who knows? The mood is getting worse. We’re only a few minutes away from a MURDER, so let’s go over who we think did it.
Harper
I know that most couples don’t “make sense,” but Harper and Ethan really don’t. Do we believe that they ever loved each other? We’re supposed to believe that they used to love each other a lot and then stopped, but it seems like they’re always far apart and not interested in each other.
I agree with everything she says about their relationship (“we’re too young to be this old”), and if I had a reason to fight for their marriage to last, I might feel differently. But all we know is that she liked him before he got rich, and now we’re supposed to believe that he wants to trade up but can’t (implausible because she is Aubrey Plaza).
Do check:
- Leo Woodall claims that the shocking episode 5 s*x scene left him “speechless” in The White Lotus
- “The White Lotus” For Season 3 Renewed at HBO: Here’s Everything You Need To Know
The fun question is: Do we think Harper and Cameron really hooked up, or is she just acting sketchy on purpose to make her lying husband feel as crazy as she did?
Will she kill? Lately, it seems like she enjoys torturing people’s minds more than actually killing them. Is she going to die? I don’t know why, but I’m going with no way.
Ethan
Ethan keeps saying, “I didn’t REALLY cheat on you, God,” even though he has already been caught lying about the situation. Instead of being so defensive, he should just admit that he wasn’t being honest with his wife. The worst thing you could say is everything he says.
(His wife cries about how their relationship is falling apart, and he says, “Work’s been crazy.” This is how you text someone back when you can’t make it to happy hour, NOT how you talk about a marriage that’s falling apart.)
After being such a jerk about Harper’s suspicions, it is a lot of fun to see him completely fall apart. He is so mad that she is happy! When Ethan sees Cameron kiss Daphne, he wants nothing more than to die.
Will he kill? This guy seems VERY close to losing it, so he might be a killer. Will he be killed? I think Mike White’s best move would be to let this man live and stew in his misery. I believe he is alive.
The Killer. #TheWhiteLotusHBO #WhiteLotus pic.twitter.com/aMMb2mz4uS
— Haperol Spritz (@helenofchicago) December 5, 2022
Daphne
I know that Cameron lies to her and that they cheat and then act like they aren’t cheating. All of that is “wrong” and “bad,” and Cameron is a jerk, but their marriage looks like a lot of fun.
I’m as upset as anyone else that I’ve gotten so into White Lotus, that’s not the the point.
I think Daphne is gonna be the killer
— Rachael (@RachaelLiberace) December 4, 2022
I’m sorry that Timothée Chalamet, who has a lot of muscle, hurt Daphne’s back… do you think that’s a code word for cheating?! Anyway, I love what she wears to breakfast.
Will she do harm? She COULD, but I don’t think she will. Is she going to die? I’m so glad we know she will be okay.
Cameron
This guy is having the time of his life. Cameron, pay your sex workers! It’s the bare minimum you can do! Will he kill? It seems like something he would do, but it’s hard to see why or what he would want to do it for…
He’s a pretty good maybe. Will he be killed? I wonder if the body bobbing in the water at the end is his! Also a maybe!
those are the eyes of a killer #WhiteLotus pic.twitter.com/35nfraErTE
— wera (@stradfordavis) November 28, 2022
Portia
So Portia stayed at the fair too long with her man, and now she’s stuck with him while he gets totally drunk and shows that he’s not all that deep. All while wearing the coolest clothes from dELiA’s 1996 spring break catalogue.
Even though she hopes to find fulfillment one day, Jack has decided that they are living in the best possible time in the best possible timeline (which is a very white guy thing to say) and, in a shocking turn of events, he thinks that all anyone should ever do is drink all day and make friends with rich people who will pay for that drinking.
I love how she says “Are you kidding?” in response to Jack’s question about what’s wrong with the world, and the way she says “What hole?” is just perfect, given what we know about Jack’s hobbies. Will she do harm? What do you know? I’m sure she could if she had to.
Is she going to die? Oh, I really hope not. I want her to know what it’s like to be happy and to live long enough to get a better sense of style. Let’s pray that she lives!
Tanya
Tanya doesn’t tell Portia everything she knows. Instead, she tells her that she has a “strong hunch” that the men who are hosting them are not uncle and nephew. Because of how Tanya has been acting all along, you can’t really blame Portia for not listening to her advice.
As cute as Nicolo is, this guy from “an influential local family” is, well, I’ve seen the episode of The Nanny where Fran dates a mobster and things don’t go well for her. Tanya is having the time of her life doing what seems to me (though I’m no expert) like a lot of cocaine, maybe even too much? I always say, “A little bit of everything.”
Anyway, she’s having the kind of amazing night that makes you sure the next morning will be terrible. Use it up while you can. I think it’s funny that Tanya almost forgets what she saw the night before when Quentin gives her a bunch of compliments and gives her a lot of champagne and coke.
You can almost hear her say to herself, “Who am I to tell this man not to fuck his fake nephew?” as the men hold her hair away from her face so she can snort.
Will she do harm? She might have to if she wants to get out of there alive. I could picture her killing someone. Is she going to die? Tanya will never die.
omg i can’t wait for the new episode of white lotus today, i don’t even know who the killer could be 😭😭😭
— lluvia (@kingllvvia) December 4, 2022
Albie
On the one hand, it’s very bold and funny of Albie to bring Lucia along on this trip to the motherland as their translator. On the other hand, I can’t believe that none of the Di Grasso adults made plans for a translator ahead of time.
Between them, they don’t speak a word of Italian, and the whole point of the trip was to go back to Italy and see if they had any living relatives they could talk to.
Just caught up on last weeks White Lotus and am now convinced Albie has to be the killer because he was wearing socks while having sex. That is a textbook murderer move.
— Rooster (@ruthlee_) December 5, 2022
How did they exactly think that would work? Even if they all spoke standard Italian, they’d still need someone who could understand dialect! Anyway, I know that Albie doesn’t usually hire a sex worker, but a lot of the basics here—like the fact that she has to make money or there will be consequences—must be things he’s learned from pop culture that make him uncomfortable, right? I wanted to scream when I saw how Lucia had to explain it to him like he was in kindergarten.
Will he kill? I’m getting the feeling that Lucia is going to make Bambi eyes at Albie until he kills someone for her, embodying all the toxic masculinity that his dad and grandpa say is natural and necessary. He is in the running. Will he be killed? Too dark! No way.
Lucia
I still have trouble with Lucia because she feels more like a plot device than a real person. We only have one more episode, and it’s still very unclear what her deal is: Is Alessio really her pimp?
If so, if she didn’t pay him, would he kill her? If her life is in danger, why doesn’t she care much if Ethan and Cameron ever pay her back? She bothers Ethan briefly once, and then she just… goes on a mission (for free!) to translate for her new boyfriend?
Why doesn’t she just let Dominic pay her to keep quiet? Her survival instincts don’t seem to be there at all, and her naivete is so far out of line with reality that it’s hard to care much about what happens to her. Sorry!
Will she do harm? I doubt it. Is she going to die? It seems very dark for the tone of the show, but she’s not doing much to save her own life, so she could be.
Mia
Like Lucia, Mia seems more like a tool for telling a story than a real person. As a birthday present, it was very nice of her to give away a free orgasm. If she doesn’t try to get it in the morning, that is.
what are you guys’ white lotus theories? i have many, but mainly i think that the dead body is mia and maybe the killer is albie?
— alice doesn’t have bangs (@cinemamilf) November 30, 2022
Will she do harm? I don’t really think so. Is she going to die? I also don’t think this is likely.
Valentina
Tanti auguri a te, Valentina! She did a great job with that, didn’t she? Will she do harm? She seems crazy and erratic enough to kill someone, even though killing someone on the property would hurt business.
It’s also bad management for her to keep rearranging her staff so she can have an unhindered fling with an employee who is already engaged to someone else. I’m making her more likely to be a murderer. Is she going to die? We know that Valentina is alive.
Bert
The way he scolds his son for being so scared when Lucia-as-translator comes: “What’s wrong with you? Can’t you just be cool?” — really, really hurt me. Bert is shocked that his son would “just let her get taken” when Alessio chases them at high speed to get Lucia back. (“That’s what she wanted, Dad,” is one way to look at it!)
Aside from that, though, he is stuck with a lot of we’re telling you the theme now dialogue about his son, like how women will kick him out and never really accept him back; “there will be no homecoming,” etc., which doesn’t give him much to work with.
Will he kill? I could see him helping Albie do something brave and violent. I’ll write him down as a more likely than not. Will he be killed? I think he will be okay.
Dominic
He lost points because he didn’t know he would need a translator. I know he has a lot going on (parenting, relationships), but that should have been his top priority before the trip.
I love how the Di Grasso women, who are all women, say, “What do we need men for?” and then shake artichokes at these boys until they run away. He seems to be the one in his family who is having the worst time. Breakups are hard, but you made your bed, etc.
Will he kill? He doesn’t seem to be able to do much more than mope around and wonder how his life got so bad. Nah. Will he be killed? This seems more likely than ever, right? Yeah, maybe!
Quentin
Jack says that Quentin isn’t really rich because he spends all of his money throwing expensive parties and trying to get Tanyas to like him. He’s house-poor (or palazzo poor would be the more accurate term, I guess.)
I know he’s probably a bad guy because he’s friends with that guy in the mafia and everything he does seems very suspicious, but at least he’s giving Tanya a good time (before he robs her or holds her for ransom?!).
Will he kill? He has a lot of places to hide his skeletons, doesn’t he? He could do it, sure. Will he be killed? I get the feeling that he is a survivor.
Greg
WELL. Well well well. What is Greg, our womanizer who couldn’t even make it through one vacation with his sugar bride, doing in that picture of a young Quentin that Tanya saw? Huge plot in which everyone is involved? Extremely bizarro coincidence? Our man is back on the board either way.
Taking bets on white lotus killer/victim…
My top 3:
Nono/Lucia
Portia/Greg
Ethan/Harper
— Luis Daniel Arbulú (🇵🇪-🇺🇲n) (@luisdarbulu) November 27, 2022
Will he kill? If he comes back, it seems like it would be to finish up some unfinished business. I wouldn’t be surprised if he did it.
Will he be killed? I think it’s just as likely that Greg is the unfinished business if you understand what I mean. If I were him, I’d watch my back.
Alessio
Alessio isn’t that important to what’s going on, but he’s made enemies with three generations of Di Grasso men, so I think he might get killed.
Will he kill? If he really killed Lucia, it would be SO cheesy and gross, so I’m going with please God no. Will he be killed? I think it’s a great idea! He could be killed, that’s for sure.
Isabella
Your engagement to Rocco is wonderful news! Try your best to get him back to your desk. Will she do harm? Nah. Is she going to die? She was in the first show, right? I think we all know she’ll make it.
Nicolo
We’ve seen that he always has a gun on him. Well. The rules aren’t made by me! Will he kill? Yes, it seems like something he would like. Will he be killed? Well, he isn’t important enough to the show for him to need to live, and I don’t think his death would mean much since we just met him.
I think he’s going to live to do a lot of cocaine another day… Follow us only on Lee Daily for more content like this.
